The following thoughts are meant to entertain while enlightening. (Making any changes without the express written consent of the author can lead to guilt, stress, illness, Anger, Sterility and/or litigation, the author does not want that for you.)
ROAD APPLES And MEADOW MUFFINS
By: Dennis Grover, American
I was raised a
country boy and we had to use names that wouldnt offend others for some obvious, but
unmentionable things. Now I am faced with the same dilemma on television. Broadcast
etiquette and political correctness dictates that I not use the words horseshit and
bullshit on the air, so a quick review of my earlier years reminded me that the flowery
names used then, directly related to the flowery names used now by the major media, or
government, describing the same unmentionables. It is my reasoning that we should
communicate with them in the same evasive and non-direct language they use on us.
I was raised a country boy and we had to use names that wouldnt offend others for some obvious, but unmentionable things. Now I am faced with the same dilemma on television. Broadcast etiquette and political correctness dictates that I not use the words horseshit and bullshit on the air, so a quick review of my earlier years reminded me that the flowery names used then, directly related to the flowery names used now by the major media, or government, describing the same unmentionables. It is my reasoning that we should communicate with them in the same evasive and non-direct language they use on us.
For instance, your letter of emotionally charged criticism and acute observation to an elected official will go directly into the trash, so simply state: Dear Honorable Blah Blah, Your diet of road apples from your superiors is obviously voluntary as I just learned of your acceptance and ratification of the meadow muffin you call the P.A.T.R.I.O.T act, and/or do you really believe that the road apples you tried to feed me validates your meadow muffin war?
Ask your pharmacist how the pharmaceutical companies manage to get road apples into such small gelatin capsules and tablets and why he/she believes that it will overcome the aspartame-induced hyperactivity and comatose like existence in your child and yourself?
Since it is not acceptable to simply say, stop shooting your children, ask your health worker if he/she has any idea how meadow muffins became injectable, renamed vaccine, and touted to prevent flu delivered by carrier pigeon?
In the courtroom you can confidently stand up and say your honor, I object to your meadow muffins.
You can politely inform your local law enforcement officer that you prefer for road apples to remain on the shoulder and not in your wallet renamed a driver license.
A prime application of this word concept would be to rename the 7,000 plus page IRS Code Manual to the Big Book of Road Apples. This is much more palatable and compliant with honesty in labeling.
I know, right now youre thinking, this is ridiculous and this writer must be a few fries short of a Happy Meal, but when you really think about it, this is exactly what the major media is doing. They consistently perpetrate the myth that this country is divided into diametrically opposed masses of people, Democrats v. Republicans, Liberals v. Conservatives, blacks v. whites, etc., ad-naseum. They claim that the fight is between the groups, and the progress of the righteous people in government is slowed due the constant bickering of these groups. This concept is road apples. The dominant media obviously does not understand their primary opponent, Natures Unalienable Laws granted by our creator to each of us.
Unalienable means that it cannot be altered, i.e. if you hold up a rock or even the jaw-bone of a neo-con and let go, it will follow a straight path to the ground or if you toss it, it will arc to the ground. No amount of legislation, executive orders or government-funded mandates can ever change this law.
The majority of the people in this land, regardless of their voter registration preference, race, gender and media defined labels, are Americans. They want and work tirelessly for the same thing, basic Liberties granted by their creator. Nothing more, nothing less, no matter how they say it.
Now we see high officials being caught in their road apples and the media is working overtime to perfume what they have spread around and they even try and get it back in the horse. Again, they dont understand natures rules, it is what it is, it smells and if put back under pressure it will explode in their faces.
Corruption, Deception and Meadow Muffins exist at every level of government from commissioners to legislators. They have changed the rules to suit their agenda. Their agenda is to promote and nurture every road apple program that is handed to them in order to have one more grant. Its all about money not constituents.
The same thing emits both road apples and meadow muffins whether it is at rear of a horse, the rear of a bull, or in the shape of a dominant media spokesperson or elected official. They are all emitters and put out the same thing. Sunlight and heat makes it smell worse and you have to know to walk around it until its removed or dries-up and blows away.
Learn to recognize their stuff when it first drops and take the appropriate action to walk around it until you can clean it up. Your children will thank you for it.
Dennis Grover, American
Dennis Grover, American
Dennis is the host of "WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL, The Truth on Television" now in its twelth year of production.
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